My eldest brother who is god sent and holds a very high position in my life, 2nd to my dad sent me some amazing reading. This has really helped in terms of trying to work out what Gods plan for everyone, it is so simple but so immensely difficult to achieve hence why Kabir Ji (a revolutionary saint-poet from Indian history) says only those blessed can really achieve it.
To realise that true happiness and peace is within us and not from an outward source. Many of us including myself search the outside to give us contentment of the mind, body and soul. It is when the materialistic things or family attachments are taken away we have no choice but to go within and realise a higher truth. That truth which so many are ignorant and choose not to believe, the question here is why?
Maybe is has something to do with fear or maybe even denial.
I think I am used to people glaring at me for whatever reason but today we had crowds of people stopping to look at me and the kids! Why????
All sorts of questions were firing in my mind…are these not children of God? Do they not have that spark of light from the divine flame? Are they not human beings like all of us and deserve respect and love?
I thought U.K was bad but this was beyond words, in fact I was shocked it felt as though people were asking: why are these people here? What is she doing with those children… oh my god what’s happening here!!!! I even saw fear in a womans eyes when she saw one of my kids with Downs Gurpal, she grabbed her daughter and let out a little scream! I was like he’s smiling he means no harm so why would you do that… did that phase Gurpal? Hell no he just giggled oblivious and folded his hands to everyone he walked passed. I was also surprised to how people received his gestures… with a smile and reciprocated his folded hands gesture so it wasn’t all bad I guess…
Some of the kids in the hostel are deaf and go back home every 4th weekend, this next incident pierced through my heart and I was in tears when I recollected to someone I met earlier… a number children were so happy to be going home they were talking about it for days and you knew exactly what their bright eyes and smiles were awaiting. A little girl ran into her mothers arms knowing she was going home, it was the girl behind her that grabbed my attention her eyes were screaming emotion – who was going to take me home? Where is my mummy? Oh man… this you could say was one of my most helpless moments… the image of her eyes will remain with me for the rest of my life…
I am finding as the days go by that there is more and more heartache and pain, centering myself has been my priority and I remember my dads words on a daily basis and now know exactly what he meant when he said:
“You cannot light another’s path if your own is not lit”