Thursday, 15 January 2009

Human Spirit - my message

Since being back it’s been difficult trying to adapt to the pre India life that I left behind, again it feels like the same people, same life and mundane routine. Missing the kids so so much especially when I got home last week, miss them more than I missed my family when in India. What does that say? How difficult is it to feel your not part of the family you left behind, have no job and no car (brother sold the car) even no home if you look beyond the bricks and water.

I was really emotional 1st week even joined a couple a agencies 2 days later simply to be surrounded by kids, LOVE EM, their energy, that said think I was forcing the will of God to hurry up as nothing is happening for me at the moment. I’m waiting to see Baba Ji and see where my life will go…which direction…which path, but not allowed to know the answers just yet. I’m not a on downer but very alone and subdued… so low and behold just when you need a lift or a message from God my brother sent me a link. I think I don’t need to say anymore…

This guy is amazing, makes us reflect and truly believe that there is a bigger purpose to life. It’s just trying to understand what, when, how and why …

What an inspirational person with a soul immersed in the love for god and Jesus.

This is an amazing video on the power, courage and sheer determination of the Human Spirit. If you ever thought you had difficulty in your life, if you ever felt disadvantaged in some way, take a few moments to watch this. It's sure to be an uplifting inspiration...

God bless Nick, he is a reality check for every person on this planet.

I gifted his picture to my mummy and brothers… to remind us if he has fall and get up a 100 times why cant we????

Sunday, 11 January 2009

What do I say?

Good bye is a word which fills the heart with sadness and ends a chapter of my life at Pingalwara. I cannot afford to think like this as this is most definitely the start of a new journey, the beginning of new relationships and the start of something beautiful ready to blossom.
The kids were very emotional, they hugged and cried with the thought I would never come back. My friend Mandeep from the USA donated some money, it was the last outing of my beautiful six months and did the kids love it, I’d promised these girls and they thought I’d forgotten … how could I have? When they didn’t.

On my last day we gave out chocolates with the money so it wasn’t all tears, thank god for shades!!!

Guess it only hit me when I reached the airport when Navneet gave me an emotional farewell… so much so I was overweight by 30 kilos and they didn’t charge me because I was filled with tears, couldn’t even speak… (great way to not pay)

My life is very much a plain canvas paper to where god wishes to place me. Don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. But by god does my mind wish to take control and send signals all over the place. Sometimes trying to be still can be challenging when every direction of you life is not in your control.

I have to admit coming back here to the UK it feels so out of sync, everyone seems to be stuck in this rat race of life and this is not what its about, SURELY NOT!

It cannot be after everything I have experienced, miss my kids so dearly its only been a week but I’m ready to head back especially with Biji’s proposal but I need Baba Jis guidance and blessing to see where I need to be placed. Life is hard without my kids, my mum is even finding it hard to deal with it! I feel so disconnected and torn between two worlds.
Who knows where my life is going now, He has written my next chapter, we just don’t know till it happens. Nothing more to say …
I know in my heart of hearts this is not the END


Saturday, 10 January 2009

Love you and Goodbye ...for now!

You could really say I have adopted a new life here, a huge extended family with crazy little kids, the sewadars as mothers and the God sent friends here. Its been so great, I’ve been eating out a lot too so probably put all my weight I lost back on! Having friends from back home, USA and Africa was a true blessing, it was so cool to them my world and life here.
Pooja (expectant mother) and her husband!
I can see myself living between here and the UK and my life here has become more meaningful in terms of what I want from my friends, you need people with positive vibrations who lift you when your down and help you towards the light and not to mention when you need a shoulder to cry on.

Sandeep who provided the light and sound for the sensory rooms - GOD SENT!

My very close mate in india NAV!

Love you guys!

This dear friend is both deaf and mute always at the Darbar Sahib giving out paper bags, I used to take Parshad (holy food) for the kids. Never did a day go by where he did not shower me with his love and hug! WOW...

So blessed to have such friends both here and back home!

I’m sitting at the airport and filled with different emotions, How crazy! When I left England I cried and now when leave here in tears, the girls were really emotional too and a friend came to give them chocolates and sweets and sent me the following text:

“U are da richest gal on da earth, being loved by children who have neva been loved by ne 1 is the biggest earning to me, children who don’t even care 4 parents are crying 4 you”

My biggest blessing is I came to pingalwara as a SISTER and leave as a MOTHER. What more can be said of the relationship I share with my babies?

No one can ever take that away from us – just going to miss them so much.