Wednesday, 13 August 2008

What a week...

What a busy week it has been and I spent my first weekend here at the complex. I know I keep complaining about the weather but its challenging and difficult, I was speaking to my elder brother and mentioned how helpless I feel when I’m surrounded by anguish, pain and heartache, to know you’re a little fish in a huge ocean I wish I could do so much more. I now question myself “how much difference can I possible make?” my brother advised the need and importance to remind myself these too are Gods children and they will be provided for, it is HIS will it always has been and remain to be.

I have much reverence and respect for kindled spirits like Bhagat ji, Mother Theresa and the mothers with maternal instincts who serve selflessly without condition they permeate love from every cell in the body and not to mention touch and change lives on a daily basis.

Nevertheless, God did bless us with cooler weather so getting things done was a lot easier and much more enjoyable. Shopping as always is great fun and the girls had a great time choosing although at times they got rather overly excited but that was to be expected. What I did find is that the girls became quite selfish by not sharing with those who have a disability or cannot talk and hear. I noticed there are groups of friends which also exclude, which is such a shame as they should be one big family but I guess this, is part of growing up. But do the other girls with a disability not want to look pretty? Do they not wish to spend time and get dolled up? Well this is exactly what I did with Daljit, gave her a mini make over and the her expression of love was just as wow… she was on cloud number nine as everyone told her beautiful she looked - new suit, earrings, hair and make up done!!!

She then woke me up the following day signing hair and make up - it was amazing to see and to be part of! How one little gesture can make such a difference to a personality and I’m hoping to frame some of the photos and gift them so they remain a wonderful memory for us both.

I actually met with the lady who brought her to Pingalwara and what a story,

Daljit lived in a family of nomads and her home along with the rest of the nomads was set on fire, she escaped but her parents, brothers and sisters were burnt whilst asleep, she was wondering nearby with only 16 rupees and the rest is history. She always has a welcoming smile on her face, talks 100 miles per hour when you can understand and has many stories to tell all by shouting and signing. She has given me so much joy in such a short space of time and her love, hugs and kisses are truly heartfelt.

As expected the more time I spend here and new people I meet I am getting a true glimpse of what Pingalwara is on many levels, the heart wrenching stories and the pain surrounding all corners. The stories pierce through your heart like a hot knife to butter, some women victims of rape who have given birth which has resulted in mental instability, another was sold by her brother resulted in a 12 year punishment regime to pay the money back, how families have not supported those who have lost their parents and left them at Pingalwara and I’m sure there are many more to come to surface. One such case is of Pushpa a 21 year old breadwinner who has experienced pain that we were up till 3.30am one night (the full story told separately). I was at darbar sahib and I saw a frail old lady lying on the floor, where was her family, children and husband? Where are the loved ones at her time in need? I guess I could not imagine how people could abandoned their family members or leave them at Pingalwara – but seeing this lady definitely gave it a sense of reality that these things truly do happen and are taking place on a regular basis.

The longer I am here the less I miss my family I know this sounds strange, I love them all dearly but I am beginning to realise the purpose of life. No longer is making money a priority and no longer getting married and having children is the be all and end all, god has a plan for everyone who knows that plan – the key is to surrender to his will and allow life to take its course the way its meant to.

A couple of newspapers wanted to write an article about why I am here I wish to clarify the reasons for this sewa and for the blog separately. I would also like to thank my friend Sandeep from the U.S for sending a donation for the kids along with DVDs and other bits and bobs to keep us all occupied his friend and family were completely dumbfounded by the hot the weather especially the little ones who were very hot and bothered bless their hearts.

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